Sunday, 18 March 2012

My ideal life with a Dom

This is just some of how I imagine life would be for us. (even though there currently is no "us")

I want to be able to lay on the couch with my head in you lap or my legs across yours. I want to spend time together strolling along the beach, walking through the park, visiting markets. I want to be able to spend time with friends but I want you to be there with me sometimes spending time with them to. I want to hold BBQs or dinners or just relaxing nights at home with friends. I want to attend events and make you proud to call me yours. I want to hear you call me by what ever pet name you choose for me, if you choose one. I want to make you coffee in the morning, have a fluffy towel waiting for you after you shower, cook meals for you. I want to laugh with you, talk with you, not feel ashamed or embarrassed to cry in front of you, I want to be able to get angry around you when things get to much for me and not have you walk away from me. I want you to hold me and tell me everything will work out, I want to know you are there for me and with me through thick and then. I want to love you and have that love returned. I want to have fun with you. I want everyone I know to know you because you are the one that makes me happy, you are the one that I am devoted to, you are the one I adore and I want everyone to see that. 

This is just some of what I want, more will be added as I think of it no doubt.

Friday, 9 March 2012

Content as I can be for now

I am feeling good about myself at the moment, life at work is starting to improve, still extremely stressful but improving all the same. On the kink side of my life I am feeling some what pleased with myself, I have handled the recent breakdown of my D/s relationship a lot better than I thought I would, even though I have had a few dark moments. I don't miss him like I thought I would, but that is probably because of the fact he had been ignoring me for weeks and I had only seen him a few times in the last 8 weeks of our relationship. My encouragement comes from the messages I have been getting from complete strangers. Telling me what a beautiful woman I am, how intelligent I am, what a well written profile I have, how honest I am about what I want, what I have done, what I want to do. It just gives me the warm fuzzies and puts a smile back on my subbie face. It is a shame most of those messages are coming from interstate or overseas, but it is good all the same.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Roller-coaster, few weeks

I haven't posted here for a few weeks, mainly because my life has been somewhat turbulent. In a nut shell, we had a play party last week and I got to experience silk suspension, and loved it, one thing off my bucket list. As anyone who has been reading my posts will know, things haven't been smooth sailing in my relationship. Well that is no longer an issue, he doesn't want me any longer, some female on the other side of the world (words on a screen) became more important to him than I was. So going back to a previous post Fifth RL experience ... Sir E awaiting outcome. Outcome is, it is over. So I pick myself up, dust myself off and move on with my life. Will there be a sixth RL experience ... Sir F? yes there will be, one day when I find him. Although I know I need a Dom/Master in my life, I also know I can survive just as well without one. I miss the play, I miss the company, really I miss everything about the relationship and yes to a degree I miss him, even with the hell he put me through for the last 8 weeks. One day I will find the elusive one, I will not allow Sir E to make me become bitter about D types.