E_I Halloween Party 31st October 2009

other great night had by all, a small gathering this time round but still an interesting night with some fantastic people and costumes.

Me of course

Me and Gypsy

Gypsy decided I needed dusting

Me Mr E_I himself and the lovely Gypsy

Me and Gypsy playing in Deadwood Cemetery

Deadwood Cemetery a la Evil Intentions style

Time for another update

It's late, I'm tired but I can't sleep. I promised it would be lights out at 10pm, it was a little later than 10pm and at 2am I am still awake. I need to sleep, this lack of sleep lately amongst everything else that is going on, is doing my head in.


I lost my job a month and a half ago, my redundancy money is about to run out, I found the most amazing man and love him to pieces, unfortunately he had a family emergency to deal with and I've not seen him in 11 days *sigh* I miss him so very much. I seriously never thought I could feel the way I feel when I am with him, I never in a million years thought anyone could make me as happy as he makes me.


I am also very troubled at the same time, his phone has been on it's way out for sometime now and I believe it has finally given up, it has been switched off since lunch time last Friday and that is most unusual especially given the family crisis he is dealing with, so I have had no contact what so ever for four days now. It has been the hardest four days of my life. I cling to the fact that he will finish doing what it is he needs to do and then we will be able to start over again, build on where we left off.


I know he is not doing this deliberately there is not a doubt in my mind about the way he feels about me, and if ever there was I just need to ask the people that have seen us together and they all say the same thing that is silently running through my mind. I have no doubt he feels the same about me as I feel about him. We are just going through an unexpected and unavoidable period at the moment, we will get through it, and I know deep within me that if we can survive this, then we can survive anything.


I need to stop feeling neglected and abandoned and remember his family are more important at this time, my turn will come, hopefully soon. I need to concentrate on me, I need to get me back to my happy place because the path i am currently on is not good for me. I feel myself slipping back to a place I vowed I would never go again, and if I am not healthy, happy and stable I am no use to him nor me.


I need to start sleeping properly, might be time to pay a visit to Mr doctor man, I need to start eating properly, time to do a big grocery shop and start cooking again, and most importantly I need to go and see centrelink and concentrate seriously on getting a job.


I have always said if a Dom can't control himself then how can he possibly control me, but as my Dom is currently away for I don't know how long then I need to take back control, because if I can't control myself how can I possibly expect anyone else to be able to control me. My spoilt brat, feel sorry for myself, needy little child period is over. I am not a child anymore I need to get over that moment and become an adult once more.


Plan of attack is .... make a Dr's appointment, go grocery shopping, and go see centrelink on Thursday, I was going to do it Wednesday but given the time now and that I am still awake, I will be in no fit state to go to centrelink tomorrow, so hopefully a good night sleep tomorrow night and centrelink Thursday.


I am not going to post photos or ramblings about the last party, mainly because I didn't enjoy it. It had nothing to do with the party or the people there, I just didn't enjoy it because I couldn't be there with Him, I was there alone and so wanted to share the night with Him but I couldn't and as such did not enjoy the night.


Next party is in a little over a week, hopefully He will be back for that one and there will be plenty of photos and ramblings :-)


Now time for sleep ..... good night cruel world

Enough

They say history never repeats, I say that is a lie, a big fat lie. History DOES repeat. I am going through the same thing I went through last year. It has finally done my head in, 3 am and I can't sleep I know the signs, seen them so many times in the past and they are in my face again. I can't sleep, can't eat, don't want anyone around me, I don't give a flying fuck about anything or anyone. I can not and will not have a relationship built on text messages, phone calls and the very rare visit, I can't do it. I won't do it. This is not fair on me, I deserve better. I'm sick of the tears and the heartache, I am sick of making excuses and lying when ever anyone asks me about my relationship. I feel like I don't even have a relationship. I once again find myself waiting around the house for a visit only to get a text message cancelling at the last minute, same thing I went through for 3 years I WILL NOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN EVER!!!!! Yes I am angry, yes I am pissed off, yes I am upset. I am sick of people fucking with my head. I really thought this time I would be able to prove people wrong, I would be able to show people that I can be happy, that I am worth the time and energy, that I can have a healthy and happy relationship. Guess I was wrong and they were right, I am worthless, I don't matter and I will never be happy. I hate all this and I want it to end, I can't do it anymore. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but this is not what I signed up for. I know family should always come first but fuck I have feelings to, I matter to, and I am sick of been stuffed in a closest and brushed aside like I don't matter and I don't have feelings.


I am HURT
I am ANGRY
I am DISAPPOINTED
I am UPSET
I am FRUSTRATED


This blog seems to have a theme to it of late, not what it was intended for but I can't help the way I feel.


NO MORE! I CAN NOT DO THIS AGAIN

Today I feel ...

Worried


Sad


Disappointed


Miserable


Upset


Angry


Hurt


Lonely

E_I Party 1st of August 2009

For my birthday in July I got me a Sir!!! Everything was great up until a few days ago :( but I have faith we will pull through.

  Me and the Lovely Gypsy

Gypsy decided I needed dusting

 Isn't she gorgeous?

 Happiest puppett eva!!

  Me and my Birthday present hehe aka Sir

 I adore this man

Sometimes life just sucks, that's all I have to say.


Not all the time though ..... Sitting at Gypsy and Master G's dining table, while they unpack some more of their stuff and all I can smell is the yummmy roast lamb that is cooking. NOMNOMNOM

June happenings

I've been a bit slack lately, no posts since May yet so much happening. Maybe that's why there have been no updates .... just not enough hours in the day. Now I need to sit back and remember what has happened since my last post.

The EI party at the end of May, like all the others was a fantastic night enjoyed by all who attended and a great attendance it was. Then there was the June munch with it's pirate theme another great night but a little disappointing to see most did not make the effort to come in costume. I know it can be difficult to organise costumes and others just don't like to dress up, I was once one of those people, but even something small doesn't take much time and effort. Then there was the June Madness party with it's military theme and as suspected almost everyone came wearing either black or traditional army camos, however my dear gypsy and I thought outside the square and went as toy soliders. I had an absolutely fantastic night, had the pleasure of catching up with a dear man and his slave Sir Perry and karen from Adelaide. Unfortunately I missed his rope workshop before he headed back to Adelaide, but maybe next time. I also had the pleasure of meeting some new people and had some wonderful conversations. The following week was the June EI party which was interesting given we had storms and severe weather warnings. Given the weather it was still a great turn out, although maybe it was just me but hte atmosphere was just not the same as normal. Not sure if it was the weather or if it was partly because dear gypsy was in bed sick :( so no photos from June EI.

I was made redundant on Friday so until I secure a new job I will not be attending as many events, finances just will not allow it. Once upon a time I would have said stuff it, I'm going but realistically bills and rent have to be paid first and my redundancy package is not that great since I have been with the company less than 2 years. I will NOT allow this curveball to drag me down to a place I once was, I will NOT go back there, I will overcome this latest hurdle in my life. And I know I have the support of my very dear friends to help keep my afloat. I could not imagine my life without them in it. I do kind of feel sorry for the Dom I end up with as I am a package deal, if he wants me he also has to accept MasterG and the wonderful Gypsy as well.

 EI Party 30 May 2009

EI Party 30 May 2009

Master G and his first mate Gypsy June Pirate Munch

Master G, his first mate Gypsy and the wench June Pirate Munch

Commador E_I, the ship wench, first mate gypsy and Captain Master G, June Pirate Munch

The toy soldiers ready for Madness June 2009

The toy soldiers ready for Madness June 2009

There was no E_I party in July, but this is what happens on a lazy Sunday afternoon at Master G and Gypsy's house

Falling Again?

I use to have a hole that I would fall into now and then, more often than not actually. Sometime in the not so distant past, in the last 6 months or so that hole was filled in and was long forgotten. I found a way of walking around the hole instead of stepping into it over and over. I found a peace within me that was long forgotten. I started to enjoy life again, it was great.

Each month I would look forward to the parties I would attend, even got to the point that I would start to think about what I was going to wear to the next party weeks in advance. At the last E_I party I had already decided what I would wear to the next one and went out the following Monday to buy the fabric. However as the weeks have gone by my interested has diminished, I had the fabric ready to sew, just needed to find the pattern and thread.

The party is just over a week away and today I had to force myself to go to textile traders at lunch time and get what I needed to make my costume. I now have everything needed except the inclination. Got home from work, traced the pattern with much effort and with greater effort cut the pattern pieces out. Fabric is still folded and in the box with the rest of my fabric, just can't be bothered. My get up and go has got up and gone.

Since Fridays MotG party I have been feeling out of whack, I am falling again, my hole while not as deep as it once was, is slowly but surely getting bigger. I have lost all enthusiasim for everything, am back to the don't give a fuck stage again. The can't be arsed staged. Can't be arsed with anything, can't be arsed going to work, can't be arsed with parties, can't be arsed with costumes, can't be arsed with people and most certainly can't be arsed with drama.

A comment was made about one of my pics on fet, "the look in my eyes says it all" ...... look into those eyes and tell me .... what is it that you see in them? I know what it is I see in them.

Madness Of The Gods

MotG is another fetish party run monthly here in Perth. The organiser does a fantastic job to create a friendly and safe environment for all in attendance. He also tries to include demonstrations into the evening for those that are new or curious. Everyone is also given the opportunity to try new or different things if they so wish.

Friday nights MotG Party is only the second one I have been to, the first beingi n November 2008, which is where I developed my love of needles.

I have few pics from Friday on the grounds that no cameras are allowed at the event, which is fair enough, a good way to protect peoples privacy.

Fridays needle play did not go as well as it normally does, I was extremly tense for some reason and the needles just did not want to go in. I did have a wonderful person use me as a pin cushion for the first time, his first time that is and I must say he did a great job. I get the feeling that once he gets a feel for the needles it is something he has the potential to become very talanted at. On the other hand the talented Master G had a great deal of trouble using me as a canvas as I was so tense, my muscles just would not relax therefore the needles did not slide as easy as they normally do.

So why was I so tense on Friday? I have a few theroies on that. Partly because of the extremely stressful week I had at work, partly because I had stepped out of my comfort zone and into unknown waters, the panic attacks rared their ugly heads again even if only minimal, and partyl because it was unfamiliar territory, unknown people and dome people I did not feel comfortable around.

Having said that I still had a fabulous night and look forward to the next MotG which I am already planning my costume for, and since the theme for the night is Military it shouldn't be to hard. Time to get the old collar dogs, hat badge and reg belt out if I can find it. YAYYY can't wait!!.

  Gypsy and Puppett Pre-Party

Gypsy, Master G and Puppett Pre-Party

Needles thanks to Master G, Photo thanks to Warped Photography

La La Land
Needles thanks to Master G
Photo Thanks to Warped Photography

May Munch 9 May 2009

Again another fun filled evening, enjoyed by many. The venue, the attendees, the host and the atmosphere were all fantastic as usual. No photos from this munch, just an evening filled with games of pool, good conversation, yummy pizza, drinks and a lot of laughter.

I did however have a conversation with one person where another person made an off handed comment to and about me that got me to thinking. Because of this conversation I have now started to take a long hard look at myself, both as a person and a submissive. If the comment is how one person views me I wonder how others view me, or IF indeed others view me in the same light as this one person. If it is in fact that others view me in the same light then perhaps it is time for me to re-evaluate myself. Maybe it is time for me to change, but then do I really want to change who I am just to suit a handful of people. The answer to that is easy ... it is a straight out NO! However if what was said is true then I do need to do something about it.

As I said I am now taking a long hard look at myself. I doubt I will change, I haven't had any similar comments from anyone else that knows me so perhaps it is just the hang up of this one person. I won't change to suit a handful of people, I will change to suit me if I believe I need to. I can, and will improve myself as much as I can. I strive to be the best I can be with what I have. I believe I can become a better person but still keep the parts of me that make me who I am. Improve myself while still being the fun, happy, cheeky and sometimes serious person I am. I will not change to be forever serious, I just can't do that. I like to have fun, and laugh with my friends. So to the person that made that comment about me I say, kiss my ass. If you can not accept me for who I am then I do not want nor need you in my life. I am the best person I can be at this point and time, and I know I will be the best submissive I can be to the person that finds me, that I choose to submit when ever that happens. I may not be everyones ideal view of a submissive, but to the right person I will be the ideal submissive..... end of story.

Nuff said!!

My new cuffs Master G made for me to wear to the last E_I party
(I now have a matching collar to wear to tomorrow nights Madness Party)

E_I Party 2 May 2009

New look Evil Intentions, the room was painted and the new feature wall was a huge hit, and also made a fantastic backdrop for pre party pics to be taken. Another fun night had by all who attended and there were a lot of attendees. It was great to see so many people there. I had several fantastic conversations with several different people. I am so enjoying getting to know all these different kinksters and their fetishes and in the process expanding my own kinks. Although it was a fantastic evening there were only a few pics taken but I still think they came out wonderfully.

New Evil Intentions feature wall

Puppett Pre-Party modelling the outfit I made for this party

 Trying the ropes for size

Gypsy and puppett pre-party

Puppetts needles with thanks to Master G

Gypsy and her delightful needles, the handy work of her Master, Master G

April Munch

We are lucky enough to have someone in our local community that owns a pool hall. He ever so kindly closes it down once a month for us kinksters to use. Awfully nice of him I think. So April munch, first one I have been to in over 2 years, what a fantastic night. A couple of the Domly type people decided they would wear green tights, and one decided if the other wore green tights he would go in pink hair, what a sight to behold, and as the good sports they are the men from Sherwood Forest and the delightfully delisious Maid Marion, come out to play and raised around $200 for charity. It was a fantastic night, filled with great conversations, laughter, lots of games of pool, yummy nibbles, and terrific people.

 The Merry Men and Maid Marion

(MasterG, Gypsy and Duskwolf)

Robin Hood and the pink haired E_I

(The pink tie really doesn't go with the orange flames :P)

Ladies Only Night, 28 March 2009

I went to a ladies only night tonight, and had a fantastic time. I had no sooner arrived and I had some lovely ladies sticking their hands down my corset and grabbing my boobies!! (they were trying to straighten the corset for me really) then I had a champagne flute stuffed down the front of it. I knew then I was in for a fantastic night. I got to catch up with some I had not seen for a while as well as meeting and talking to a few I had not met or spoken to before. And again had some lovely needlework done on me. Over all it turned out to be a fantastic night for me. I did have my doubts about going, but am ever so glad I got dragged along. Again I have come home one happy little puppett.

 Needles, chain and beads, just yummy, nuff said :-P

Corset come champagne flute holder ... where's my straw? :P

Evil Intentions Party March 2009

21st March, 2009
Another great night had by all that attended. It was also great to see so many new faces in the crowd, as well as catching up with some I hadn't seen for a while. I look forward to getting to know more and more people and developing some wonderful friendships as my journey continues.

 Gypsy and me (being a clown)

Before the Party modeling the outfit I made

One happy little puppett

MasterG's handiwork

Gorgeous lady with gorgeous needle work done by her Master the talented MasterG

Quotes I like

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. ~ Robert Brault

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

If you command wisely, you'll be obeyed cheerfully. ~ Thomas Fuller

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear. ~ Winnie the Pooh

Sometimes I put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. ~

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. ~ Albert Camus

Only a life lived for others is worth living ~ Albert Einstein

Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end. ~

Actions speak louder than words ~

Be who you are, say what you want, because those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind ~

True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate her life, through devotion, to something beyond herself. ~

A good Dom tells, A mediocre Dom teaches, but a true Dom inspires ~

To Much To Ask?

I'm becoming restless and feel in NEED of a Dominant in my life, but I am fussy, have been hurt, crushed and trampled on in the past so it is an almost impossible task to find exactly what I need. Or I should say, it has become almost impossible to open up to people, and to trust people enough to be able to find the one I need. My ideal partner would be, single, not to young, not to old, patient, caring, understanding, trustworthy, confident, honest, compatible with me, living in the same country, preferably same state. He would have self-control, wisdom, communication skills, the capacity to love, the desire to teach, compassion and a sense of humour.

How can I submit to someone who does not give me reason to trust him? Without confidence of his own how can he instill confidence in me? Self-control means just that; if he can’t control HIM then how can he control ME. He must be wise when using the knowledge he has gained. Being intelligent does not make a person wise. If there isn’t honesty there can’t be trust, if he can’t be honest with himself how can he be honest with me? He needs to be able to express his wants and needs to me in a way that I will fully understand, his instincts to comfort, protect and nurture speak to my heart, this is the kind of man I need in my life. He needs to practice what he preaches, teach by example, if he wants respect, he will show respect, if he wants loyalty he will be loyal, if he wants honesty he will be honest, he will also have patience. He will not chastise me for failing, he will help me over come obstacles, and he will help me become the best I can be. And he must have the ability to laugh at himself as well as with others.

And that my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg, so much more could be added and probably will be in the near future. I did say I was fussy, and well I refuse to settle for second best. Why should I when I deserve so much more.

My BDSM Astrology

SUBMISSIVE CANCER

She is likely beautiful, well-proportioned, and easily upset. She does not respond well to her Master's chiding, because it cuts her much deeper than he realizes. She is happy being told what to do, yes, but must have variety in order to be comfortable. She is likely to be outrageously flirtatious with her Master, but quiet and shy in public.

Want to know what yours is? find out here for Aries-Virgo and here for Libra-Pisces

Woman Under Masters Hand

I found this somewhere on the net one day, many, many months ago, and really liked it. It speaks volumes to me. Although I would not use the word slavery, I would use the word submission, but that is just a personal thing on my behalf.

Walking away

No matter how hard I try, I just can't do it .... walk away from all this that is. I have been thinking seriously about turning my back on it all over the last few weeks and months. Even tried to, that lasted all of a few days, week at the most.

I have come to the conclusion that I am more than likely not going to find what I need in my life, in this lifestyle (don't like that word), yet I can't turn my back on it either. It is not what I do, it is who I am, it is as much a part of me as my arms and legs. I would be lost without any one of them.

And I have made some wonderful friends that I can't leave behind. I have decided that since I am unable to walk away from the lifestyle completely, I am going to take a back bench for a while instead. Lurk in the shadows so to speak. I will still attend some events, but not all of them, at least for the time being. I'll work my way up to more/all of them one small step at a time. In short I will not be as active as I have been in the past.

There is a lot going on in my life right now and that is another reason I can't walk away from all of this, I have made some fantastic friends recently and I know with their help and support I can get through what I am going through and come out on top. And I want to get to know them all better. (yes all of you)

Because of everything I am dealing with at the moment I am feeling terribly lonely, yes I have friends, some I visit regularly, but I still feel terribly alone. Even when I am in their company. I'm becoming restless and feel in NEED of a Dominant in my life, but I am fussy, have been hurt, crushed and trampled on in the past so it is an almost impossible task to find exactly what I need. Or I should say, it has become almost impossible to open up to people, and to trust people enough to be able to find the one I need.

Although I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never find the right Dom for me, I will keep trudging along on my journey. I honestly don't believe the right one for me exsists. Let's face it, here in WA they are either partnered, to old, to young, fakes, wannabes, liers, dangerous, untrustworthy, or down right rude and arrogant.... I did say I was fussy, and well I refuse to settle for second best. As much as the thought scares the crap out of me, I would rather be alone for the rest of my life, than settle for second best.

What my birth month says about me ....

July

Fun to be with.
Secretive.
Difficult to fathom and to be understood.
Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself.
Easily consoled.
Honest.
Concerned about people's feelings.
Tactful.
Friendly.
Approachable.
Emotional, temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody and easily hurt.
Witty and sparkly.
Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never forgets.
Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Sensitive and forms impressions carefully.
Caring and loving.
Treats others equally.
Strong sense of sympathy.
Wary and sharp.
Judges people through observations.
Hardworking.
No difficulties in studying.
Has reputation.
Guides others physically and mentally.

Well most of the above is pretty much me through and through, except for the last 3. I have great difficulties in studying, depending on the type of study, I don't have a reputation (that I am aware of) and I don't do the guiding, I do the being guided.

The Person behind the posts

I guess now would be a good time to tell you all a little about me. Who am I, what makes me tick, what I like. The good, the bad and the ugly. Why bother sugar coating anything, right?

I was born in 1969, in Wanganui, New Zealand. Yep kiwi born and bred and proud of it! I am the youngest of four and am the mother of two teenagers, neither of which live with me. I moved to Perth, Western Australia on the 25th Feb 2006, with a suitcase full of clothes, a cabin bag full of photos and $2000NZD to my name. No job, no possessions, nothing. Starting again from scratch, and have no regrets with that. There are times that I think I would rather be back home, that is more often than not when I am at a real low point and am missing my wonderful friends back there. Why Perth? is a question I get asked a lot, in a nut shell, because everyone I know goes to the eastern states, because both of my children had decided to go and live with their fathers, because I was sitting around, wasting away doing nothing living off the government and I knew by moving to Australia I had to work as I wasn't entitled to government assistance. Because I wanted to make a better life for myself, because it is far enough away from my dysfunctional family while still being close enough for me to get to them in just a few hours in case of emergency, and because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I am honest, reliable, trustworthy, caring, loving, shy at first, over emotional and an extremely loyal friend. I can be cheeky, opinionated, pig headed, stubborn, unpredictable at times and more often than not, misunderstood. I suffer from Borderline personality disorder, but with the right people in my life I can over come that, or so I have been told. I am not the worlds most intelligent person, I learn by being shown how to do things and then doing them, rather than by reading and/or writing about something, and my communication skills are not the best. I often say things that make perfect sense to me but not to anyone else, I do not have the skills to deal with a lot of lifes hurdles, I put that down to the way I was raised. I get easily frustrated specially when trying to explain something to someone and not knowing how to express myself. A lot of people see it as anger directed at them, rather than what it actually is, personal frustration. I never hold a grudge for very long and when I get hurt, I hurt real bad. I don't trust easily, but once you do gain my trust I will generally trust you with my life. However if you break that trust, it will take an extremely long time to rebuild it. And yes it is possible to re-gain my trust if you lose it, depending on what you did to lose it in the first place.I like taking photos of anything and everything, I like craft work, I like most kinds of music, I like watching a good dvd, I like going for drives just to waste some time, I like the beach, I like going for walks in the bush, I like sitting beside a waterfall or stream just to get away from it all for a while, I like spending time with good friends, I like spending time alone. I don't like peas, mushrooms, capsicums, liers, unreliable people, crowds, feeling like I have done something wrong, being judged harshly by people that don't know me. I do not deal with being humiliated, abandonment, and being put down. There is so much more I can add to this list if I really stop and think about it, but right now I don't want to stop and think.

I first discovered BDSM about 5 or 6 years ago quite by accident. I went to visit a couple of friends that shared a house. When I got there they were both in chatrooms on Alt.com, I had never heard of it before and asked about it. I was given a very brief explanation but really didn't take to much notice, although it did spark some curiosity. When I got home I did a google search and so my journey began. I read numerous websites on the subject, found some great articles and blogs on submission and all of a sudden it made perfect sense. I finally discovered that I was not strange. I finally understood why I am like I am. I have always been a quiet and shy person (until I get to know people) who doesn't like to cause trouble and will do what ever I am asked.

As a kid I thought I was like that because I was scared, scared of the beating I would get if I did or said the wrong thing and sometimes when I didn't, scared of being yelled at, scared of being told how stupid I was, how useless I was, what a failure I was, how I would never be able to do anything right, how I should never have been born and how much I was unwanted. But reading this as I am typing, it is very highly likely that all of that is what made me the submissive I am and always have been.

My submission goes way beyond just play, and I won't go into great detail on the play aspect of BDSM as I have little experience with it. I love needle play, but that is a very recent thing over the past few months. I have in the past had some bad experiences with play sessions so tend to shy away from them as much as possible. For me submission is more about the control for want of a better word. And this is where I struggle to explain exactly what I mean, basically for me it is more about the psychological side of BDSM, I guess for me it is more about the D/s side of BDSM, but I still need a certain level of play also.

I don't need to get into a mind-set for my submission to kick in, it is just naturally there. I am by no means into pain, even though needle play is high on my list of things I enjoy. For me it is about the sense of completeness, the feeling of belonging, the feeling of safety, being given and obeying orders, I guess any "real lifestyler" will know exactly what I mean though. However in saying all of that, I will not jump to the commands of just anyone, more often than not if someone tells me to do something they will be told to kiss my skinny white arse. I am no ones slave, never have been and never will be. I will not fall to the floor and worship the ground you walk on until you can prove to me you are the right Dominant for me. For the right person I am very submissive and give all I have to give and then find some more to give.

If anyone wants to know any more about me than I have written here, then please feel free to send me a message on Fetlife. Be warned however, any disrespectful, degrading or down right rude messages will be ignored and deleted. I am to old to play stupid school yard games.

Evil Intentions Party Feb 2009

21st Feb, 2009
Another great night had by all that attended. It was also great to see a few new faces in the crowd, as well as catching up with some I hadn't seen for a while. It was also great to see people trying new things.

Me, pre-party

Gorgeous lady pre-party

The 3 of us pre-party
(same spot as new year wonder if we will ever move from that cross)

Do you think we enjoy our needles?
I think space cadets was what we were called

Love my needles,
would look great with feathers in them but still love em

Fantastic needlework on a simply gorgeous lady

First time needles

Another first timer

And yet another first timer

This is simply stunning artwork,
a fantastic artist and a fantastic model

And they claim they are the good girls.
Good girls don't get caged do they?